Boozy Boosh
by brokenmoonlight
Summary: Vince and Howard are very, very drunk after a night out. What will happen? A little bit slashy.


**A/N: This is probably quite disorientating – especially the dialogue - but it was supposed to be written like that, to get a sense of how drunk they are. Of course, it may not have worked out like that, but I tried! xx**

**xxxx**

Sounding louder than a bomb going off, the door to the flat slammed open, disturbing the silence that had currently been residing there. Two men stumbled in, giggling hysterically, the taller of the two falling onto his hands and knees and failing miserably when he tried to crawl up the stairs. The smaller man snorted at him, before realising that this was not an attractive sound, so he put his hand over his mouth, tittering behind it like a five-year-old who'd just said the word 'penis' for the first time.

The taller man reached blindly behind him, grabbing his friend's leg and pulling him down next to him. Guts aching and about to explode, they somehow managed to make their way up the stairs. Falling onto the floor, they lay there on their backs unceremoniously, still laughing madly, coughing every now and then as they tried to catch their breath.

"How – How – How- ow – ow – owie – Howie! Howie Owie!"

"Don't – don't – call me Howie, Vince. Vincey – Vincey – Incy Wincy Vincey!"

They both shrieked with laughter, sounding like two hyperactive school-girls, becoming louder when they decided it would be the funniest thing in the world to start poking each other in the stomach and chest.

Vince wanted to scream, but a sudden lurching in his stomach made him sit bolt upright, and his head suddenly spun in the most horrible way.

"Ooh, I don't think I feel very well, Howard."

Howard looked at him – well, as much as he could with his eyes out of focus.

"Wha? You don't think?" he slurred, a stupid smile still gracing his drunken features.

"I don't feel... well." Vince tried to stand, Howard helping him and somehow, very clumsily, they managed to get onto their legs and into a sort of stooping position. Vince wavered dangerously.

"Ooh, no, oohhhhhh, no," Howard said, grabbing Vince and yanking him towards the bathroom, swaying in a zig-zag fashion. "Toilet!" he shouted out, and then for some reason, he giggled again.

Vince pushed himself off of him and fell to the floor. "Out, out, out," he demanded, pointing towards the door.

Howard stopped giggling and frowned, stumbling out the door and falling onto the hallway floor.

Inside the bathroom, Vince retched horribly. When he'd finished, he stood up clumsily and flushed the loo, holding onto the sink and grabbing his toothbrush. He picked up the toothpaste and squeezed out more than he needed, shoving the brush into his mouth and nearly choking on it.

Howard banged on the door frame. "Vinshy? Vinshy!"

Vince tripped over to the door, toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. Howard was still sprawled on the floor on his front. Vince laughed at him whilst trying to brush.

"Whatsh funny? Are you better now?"

"All betterer," he replied, swallowing the toothpaste and tossing the brush to one side. "More dink!"

"Dink?"

"More drinky!"

Stumbling to the living room, they knocked over a small table which held a potted plant and collapsed onto each other in hysterics.

"Sorry, plant!" Vince cried, tears leaking from his eyes.

Howard looked up at him and traced a finger under his eyes. "Don't cry, Vincey."

"I'm not!"

"Then whys your eyes leaking?'

Vince frowned at him for a moment, then bent his head down and wiped his face against Howard's. "I'm not, shee?"

Howard pulled a face and Vince started giggling again.

"Howard?"

"Wha?"

"Your small eyes are quite loverly – they're all twinkly."

"When?"

"Now!"

"Oh!" Howard jabbed a finger at Vince, catching his cheek. "Hello."

Vince grinned stupidly. "Hello."

They were quiet for a moment, something passing between them as they stared at each other.

"Howard?"

"Yeah?"

"You have quite nice lips."

"I do?"

"Yup. Howard?"

"Yesh, Vincsh."

"Can I give them a little kissy?"

Howard shrugged. "Okay."

Vince pressed his mouth against his friends and sucked at his lower lip. Howard squealed.

"Whatsh funny?" Vince said, looking a little put-out.

Howard just grinned. "You're all minty. I like minty."

"Aww, thatsh nice." He kissed him again, more languorously this time, slipping his tongue in, causing Howard to moan. They rolled over onto their sides, running their hands through each others hair and sighing against each other. After a while they started to slow down, and eventually they both passed out.

xxxx

Howard awoke the next morning with a thumping headache. He was confused as to why he was on the floor, and as he sat up he spotted Vince next to him, snoring lightly. He nudged him.

"Vince."

Vince moaned, only half waking up, "Just five more minutes," he mumbled.

"Vince!"

He opened his eyes and squinted up at Howard. "Ohhhh, I feel like I've been hit by a truck."

Howard stood up shakily and offered him a hand.

"Thanks," he said. "Why were we on the floor?"

"No idea," Howard replied. Vince frowned at him. "What?"

"Why are you wearing my t-shirt?"

"Wha – oh," he said, looking down and seeing the too small t-shirt clinging to his broad frame.

Vince smirked. "It's a good look."

"Shut up. Anyway, you can talk," Howard said.

Vince looked down and gave a rather girly shriek. He pulled Howard's awful patterned shirt off and tossed it to one side, leaving him bare-chested. "When did we do that?!"

Howard shrugged.

"And get my top off before you stretch it!"

"Oh, thanks!" He took it off and threw it at him.

Vince went and sat at the kitchen table while Howard made some coffee. "How much did we drink last night? And what on earth did we do?" he said, indicating the mess in the living room, the plant that had been knocked over lying innocently on the floor, soil everywhere.

"I don't think I want to know," Howard said, bringing the coffee over to the table. He handed Vince his mug as he sat down.

"Cheers," he said, running a hand through his hair. It got caught in a knot near the ends and he yelped. "What's..." he sniffed it. "How the hell did I get toothpaste in my hair?"

Howard gave a small laugh. "Haven't a clue. Must have been a good night though."

"Yeah, must have been," Vince agreed.


End file.
